Amy the Vain; (fake_lipstick) wrote in moviefic_100,
Amy the Vain;
fake_lipstick
moviefic_100

#65 Stranded Rocky Horror

Title: If I Gave You the Choice
Rating: PG
Prompt: #65 Stranded
Warnings: None
Summary: Columbia's views on Frankie. Uses the song How to be Dead by Snow Patrol.

If I Gave You the Choice

Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened and you never will
If you don't listen to me while I talk to the wall


It was great when it all began, but now I wish things were different. I wish that when you had waved to me from across the street in the faded red truck I had thought twice about what I was getting myself into. But I was young and you were showering me with gifts and compliments…and sex.

Somewhere along the line I fell in love. Don't ask me how, because I don't know. I never pictured myself falling for a guy with thick makeup and five inch heels. I never pictured myself sharing a room with a maid and learning to live with the fact that another guy I loved was locked up in your freezer.

It was stupid really to think that it would last. But it ended so quickly, faster then it started. I think that, beyond anything, is what broke my heart.

This blanket is freezing it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours till I know what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before


There's this new craze for you now this new…thing. I hate you for it but then you come along in those fish-nets with that smirk on your face and you're so excited, I just fall for you all over again. Even when you talk about him it gets me, I want to despise the fact that there's something new for you to play with, something that's not me. Then I realize that that's all I ever was and it doesn't seem so bad.

Nobody seems to take my care for you seriously. Not even Magenta. I think she just assumes I think of you as a brother…though in her case maybe they're the same things.

Thing is now that this creation is close to finished I don't know what's to become of me. I don't want to leave the castle, I like it here and what do I have to go back to anyway? The real world? Like I could ever handle that again.

I don't even know that my family thinks I'm alive. That's another thing, I gave everything up for you and you've forgotten about me.

So sweetheart tell me whats up I won't stop
No way
Please keep your hands down and stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice


Then on top of all of that there are those times when you're so angry, so upset and nothing can get through to you. I used to be able to but now it's like I'm the last thing you want to see. I wonder why a lot. I wonder if you ever feel the tiniest bit like it was your fault, it was. I'd like to know if you ever stop to think what you're doing to me.

Do you know you're ripping me to shreds with your smiles? Do you know that when you lead me on you're breaking my heart? Do you care?

Probably not.

It's a simple suggestion can you give me some time?
So just say yes or no why can't you shoulder the blame?
Cause both my shoulders are heavy from the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so lets not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said
Oh my god


I try to talk to you, to tell you how I feel but you never pay any attention to me at all anymore. All you ever do is interrupt to ask about skin tones and hair color. Sometimes it's like you think you'll be with this creation forever, you won't I know you better.

Better then anyone else ever has. And maybe that's the sad thing, I was dumb enough to get attached in the first place. But still after all you've done to me, everything you've said if someone pointed a gun at you I'd jump in front of it.

I love you too much to see you hurt.

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes that you've listed so far
Baby let me explain something it's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking them and not a lot else


I can't get over you it's too hard. You're my drug and all you do is leave me wanting more. I'm stuck in this rut, I suppose. I wonder sometimes if I always will be. Will I die for you? Or will I leave and get on with my life? Either way there's no way I could forget you.

You're too important. Of course I could never say that to you. You'd probably just laugh and go on with life as I cracked in front of you.

So this is how it's going to be. I'm going to live here, in this house, knowing you'll never want me again. I'll get sick of being rejected but I'll stay. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself I just do. I have to.

But sometimes I wonder. If you had to do it all over again, would you have waved that day? Because no matter what you do to me, I'll never really regret crossing the street.

It seems I've stepped over lines you've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the weed is definitely out
Dr. Jeckyl is wrestling Hyde for my pride

Fin
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